BODY LANGUAGE
Body language is communicating through nonverbal signals. It
includes things like our posture, facial expressions, gestures, and more the
meanings of these all vary from culture to culture, but we instinctively read
body language and interpret it as some expression of moods, feelings, or
intentions.
Body language, on the other hand, does not have grammar and
must interpret. Instead of having an absolute meaning corresponding with a
certain movement, so it is not a language like sign language and is simply termed
as a language because of popular culture. Body language, a subset of nonverbal
communication, complements verbal communication in social interaction.
HOW TO IMPROVE BODY LANGUAGE
Body language is as important as the words that one uses in
communication. If your body language is expressing something contrary to what
your words are saying, your audience will not believe what you are saying.
Okay, so there's this 7, 38, 55 rule - which says that 7
percent of all communication is words, 38 percent is your tone of voice, and a
whopping 55 percent of all communication is through your body language - and if
you add it up, it turns out that over 90% of all communication is nonverbal.
So, if you want to present yourself as a confident person, the best way to
achieve that is through your tonality and body language.
We will discuss here some parts:
First, we will discuss body language tips and habits of
confident individuals and, in the second part, we will go from head to toes,
covering your feet, legs, torso, arms, and head.
Now, here are the 4 tips that you can start using today to
improve your body language and exude a powerful, calm yet confident vibe in all
conversations and social interactions.
First: Look your best.
This is how our society works right now. Whether you like it
or now you will be judged by your appearance. I know this is not strictly a
body language tip, but it's important! Because depending on if you look your
best or if you don't care about your appearance at all, it can either increase
or decrease the effectiveness of the tips that follow. Plus, you will feel more
confident when you look your best. I'm sure you've experienced this already.
And by looking your best, I don't mean expensive brands and golden watches.
What I mean is that you're clean, smell nice, and your clothes are appropriate
and fit nicely.
Second: Use power poses.
Whenever you are feeling powerful, you tend to subconsciously use a power pose. But what Social psychologist Amy Cuddy revealed in her Ted Talk is that standing or sitting with certain poses for as little as two minutes raises testosterone levels and lowers cortisol (also known as the stress hormone). They associated those hormone levels with power and dominance. If you use power poses even if you are not feeling confident, you will felt dominant, optimistic–traits that belong to the confident alpha.
Third: Slow yourself down.
This was the tip that made the biggest difference in my
case. And by slowing down, I mean slow your movement, your speech, slow down your
arms. If someone calls you to slow down as you're turning your head, simply
imagine that you are in a pool of water and act at that speed. The reason why
slowing down works is that it shows people you got everything under control
even if you don't, and it shows that you are not afraid, you're confident and
calm, even if something bad happens you will find a way to fix it. The opposite
of being slow is being impulsive, nervous, and fidgeting. So, try to lower
those things as much as possible, and remember to slow yourself down.
Fourth: Practice smiling and holding eye contact.
Looking down when walking or talking is the fastest way to
show someone that you are uncomfortable and not confident. What you should do
instead is to hold firm eye contact about 80% of the conversation. If you are
not comfortable holding eye contact, you can try looking your partner in the
eyebrows at first. It will be much easier, and they won't notice the difference
- after that, gradually work your way up into full eye contact. Also, wear a
smirk, a light smile on your face throughout the day, so you come across as an
approachable, fun, and confident person. After reading this, go and look at
yourself in the mirror, compare having a dead serious face with a light
playful, confident smile, you'll notice the difference immediately.
Now let's go over your stance and posture. Start with your
feet shoulder-width apart, and your toes pointing outwards. This is open body
language. If your legs are crossed or you have one leg behind the other–this
type of body language is closed body language, and it's associated with fear,
anxiety, defense, and lack of confidence traits that are not so attractive. So,
we associate open body language with confidence and power, so feet
shoulder-width apart and toes pointed outwards. A bonus tip for your feet and
legs is to take big steps. Or at least, don't take small steps. Shuffling or
creeping makes you look nervous. So, take firm strides.
Arms: Don't cross them! When we're nervous, we put our hands
in our pockets, behind our backs, or cross them to cover our chest and that
can be seen as shy, introverted, and passive. So, don't cross them, don't hide
them, keep them relaxed by your side, on your waist, or use them to emphasize
certain points in your conversation.
Now I want you to pay close attention to the next 2 groups
because they will literally change how people see you. It's your shoulders and
chest. Mostly you will notice having your shoulders slouched forward and your
chest inwards–and, because we spend a lot of time in this position because of
computers and phones, without thinking, we carry it throughout the day.
What you should do is first bring your shoulders back and
then down. This will fix your posture, open up your chest and straighten your neck.
Speaking about the neck, it should be in line with your body, and your head
should face forward. You should bring your chin a little upward, but don't
overdo it, as you may come across as arrogant.
Also, avoid tilting your head down, as it signals uncertainty
and lack of confidence. It might be hard to think about all those things during
the day, so I want you to know all this stuff, get a feel for it instead of
memorizing it.
Confident body language is all about opening yourself up,
doing slow and controlled motions, speaking with a calm and confident voice,
having a straight posture with your shoulders back and your chest up, not being
afraid to take up space and looking and feeling comfortable, a rule of thumb is
if you feel comfortable you look comfortable.
Give yourself 10-15 minutes in front of the mirror, correct
some things you think need to fix with your posture, walking, or talking.
Practice some power poses, because those 15 minutes may change how people
perceive you. You can become more confident, attractive, and successful in your
social life and in your life if you apply these concepts. If you look and feel
confident long enough on the outside, I guarantee - you will also start to feel
it on the inside.
8 Ways to Read Someone’s Body Language
Manipulating clothing
Clothing sends a powerful message, not because of the
clothes you wear, but the way you use them. Countless people express their body
language by interacting with their clothing. Clothing style, one key thing is
grooming. Grooming is when you make slight adjustments to your physical
appearance. Usually when you are feeling nervous, restless, or embarrassed, so
if caught someone featuring with their clothes know you know exactly what they
are feeling. Grooming isn’t the only way people manipulate their clothing. Many
people use them as barriers. They put their hands in their pockets. These body
language cues mean they are putting up walks. Mostly use their clothes to
shield their body, and they feel a sense of safety.
Supporting their body
Look around any room, pay attention to their postures and
the way they are supporting their body. You often find people slum against the
wall or piece of furniture. People even realize how much meaning someone’s
emotional state is. When you let your body slouch, your muscles relax. You
relax your body for a reason, rather you are bored or are interested.
Proximity Matters
Have you ever notice telling comfortable feels when someone
gets too close? Even if they are not actually touching you, it's all you think
about. Because space is much more powerful than you realize. Edward T. Hall, a
cultural anthropologist, was the first to recognize how important personal
space to be. His book “the hidden dimension” all explains that space carries
many social and cultural meanings. Space even helps us to organize our
relationships depending on how someone is close standing, it falls into
categories. They might be partners, friends, or a complete stranger. By the
way, those categories might help to make sense of your relationships. Proximity
actually involves the entire body. How proximity actually works? For this,
Edward separates space into four zones: Public space, Social space, Personal
space, and intimate space.
Gesture Clusters
When reading body language, you might search for one signal
at a time, you can watch their feet, or mouth, or remember their eyes. That is
because body language comes in clusters, if you want to get a lead on someone,
or, you need to look out for those clusters because each one gives you an important window into their mood and personality.
Open Palms
Everyone knows how expressive your hands can be, for
nonverbal communication, your hands are a louder part of your body. They can
show any kind of emotion, positive or negative. Your palms have a special
meaning. For example, if someone wants to fight, you might back up, open your
arms and show your palms. That kind of body language instinctively tells the
other person about what it means.
The Closed Point
It is a primitive form of body language, and humans are the
only ones in how to do it. Closing your fist and extending your index finger,
it's establishing dominance. In social settings, that symbol means to move
anyone from the group. Your finger is commanding other people to look.
Extended Eye Contact
Eye contact is the first thing we use to look at a person.
If someone does not want eye contact, it means they may have felt embarrassed,
anxious, or insecure, so that’s why they feel in trouble in making eye contact.
Touching Their Face
When you feel stress, it turns red or itchy, or sometimes it
hurts you. It is that you don't want that, why you soothe your nerves to make
the pain go away. Touching any part of their face means they are feeling
nervous. If you stop this body language to be noticed, the best thing you can
do is to pretend not to notice. So try to feel comfortable and stop touching
your face. It means you did your job.
To successfully read someone’s body language, you need to
study their facial expressions and their psychology. Reading body language can
be a really helpful thing to know anyone’s inner feelings.
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